A Northern Nigerian Female Child

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UNSEAL YOUR LIPS AND HAVE A VOICE!

What I am writing about today is the woes a female child goes through in the Northern part of Nigeria. Most people’s idea about a girl is just her being groomed from her parent’s house, to being another man’s property. Some even think educating a female child is utterly useless because all she is going to do is bare children all her life. I have heard and read this so many times that”educating a female child is like educating a whole community”. So why is there so much discrimination between the boys and girls? The boys are groomed to feel superior for whatever reason, I don’t know.  At times, you even hear them saying “ai mace ce” (she’s just a woman, indicating she is dumb).

Why is it that a girl’s efforts to grow are clipped just before she starts. Are the opposite sex this insecure? Is it because they are afraid of competition? Everyday, a girl gets judged and insulted and fingers are raised at her upbringing. She is just expected to stay at home even if there are other things she wants to do with her life. Girls are made to lose confidence in themselves and have this feeling of inferiority in this society. Any other that has the courage to fly is considered as wayward. Why should girls be groomed to be dependents? They are forcefully made to live at the mercy of their husbands, say the husbands do not provide enough for them, that is how they will sacrifice their needs and can’t even assist their husbands when the days get dark.

Why is it that a female divorcee is considered as someone who has little value and a male divorcee isn’t considered as that? The society isn’t being just to the female generation! We live in a society where girls don’t have a voice, and the ones that do face criticisms and insults on daily basis. This discrimination wouldn’t make the society any better. Girls don’t deserve to be treated as inferior species.  Just some days back, I saw a speech made by a Northern princess as she represented her father at a conference.  She received so much insults, and even her dad bagged his own share of it. Now what was so wrong with a father sending his female child to represent him?

Parents get their children married at a very young age without consideration their children’s feelings or the trauma they will go through especially at child birth. It is sad. The girls that have been given education and weren’t forced into early marriage have also been groomed to settle for nothing less than a rich man. To me, is like the education has gone down the drain since they still don’t have the guts to stand up on their feet.What people forget is that these material things can go. If you get married for them, what will be left then?  And what about the ones that were not being able to hook the rich? They feel less of women and some even get depressed. Now what would be the need for all that if a girl was encouraged to succeed and not become a parasite.

In my own perspective, the orientation given to female children has to change, else we in  the north won’t move further. When a girl is given education and given the necessary support to have a voice, stand up for herself, be confident and have courage to grow without being crucified by the society, arewa (Northern Nigeria) will see a new dawn.

DO NOT FORGET YOURSELF

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As every individual has a sense of what is right and what is wrong, people now have become something else. No one would stand and fight for what they think, everyone is just programmed to agree with what the society accepts even if it’s wrong. People have been groomed to forget themselves and their sense of righteousness and just live for the society. If you don’t live for yourself then you’re half dead because even your opinions are not yours. Nothing of yours is even actually yours. You’re just like some property or more like a slave of the society who can do nothing but accept what it dictates.

Most people don’t live for themselves. They are just like robots whose aim is to impress people. The funny thing about the situation is that the  people you are seeking approval from will only be there for you on conditional basis. Who do you think amongst them is going to get your back when the days get bad? NO ONE! The exact people you are trying to impress are the same people that will slander you behind your back.

You don’t need to live for anyone! When things do not go with your principles, do not conform. Never leave your true self in the shackles . You don’t even have to fit in. So what if you are different? It actually makes you unique. Stand up for your dreams and your values no matter the volume of resistance you get. Do not forget yourself and live for others. To me, the saying ” when in Rome, do as Romans do”  doesn’t make sense because one doesn’t have to live by what everyone accepts. Being overcareful so that people wouldn’t disapprove of you is not the life. Especially for girls where they’re at times being compelled to live a life entirely different from the one they have always wanted. Your opinions are yours and you have a right to want what you aspire. Trust me, you will never be happy when you suppress them. The void is forever going to remain because you are in chains.

Explore your life and not live through it seeking for people’s approval. This goes for everyone, old to young and boys to girls

Make yourself happy by revealing the true you. You will be amazed of your potentials.!

Written by Millionaire’s Digest Team Member: Rose Yap Founder & Owner of: Wandering Daydreamer Millionaire’s Digest Team, Contributor, Successful Living and Travel Writer 1. “Everything in life is easier when you don’t concern yourself with what everybody else is doing.” There’s this saying that also says, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ and I feel like […]

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The beauty of small things: a voyage into a garden’s microcosm

Jules Verne Times Two

“The more we travel, the bigger the world gets”. Over the last couple of years we have taken advantage of our somewhat vague motto to talk about many different things. Christened during our round-the-world trip, it originally stemmed from our observation that no time in the world would be enough to visit all places worth visiting. After we came back, we realised this to be true even for our own country. Abandoning all hopes of closure, we expanded our definition of travelling to encompass other things we love: time-travelling to long-past history, mind-travelling on the comforts of solitude, soul-travelling with the wonders of friendship. All those wanderings however involved some degree of physical travelling. Not today. Today we won’t go beyond Jules’ parents backyard, in Ponte de Sor.

Over the course of countless weekends, I made a habit of sneaking into Jules’ parents garden to take pictures. Hunching…

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