No Matter How You Speak It

The message is clear, hate is no solution to any problem.

The Chatter Blog

Hate is a cancer.

It grows, it feeds on healthy tissue, and by and large will invade and take over.

Hate is a controller.

You can no more control hate within you, than you can control someone else’s hate.

Hate is hostile.

You cannot hate and be reasonable.

Hate is aversion.

You cannot repair or make better using hate as your tool of implementation.

Hate is ugly.

You cannot persuade me to see beauty by spewing anger.

Hate is a contortionist.

I cannot see truth through warped visions.


Is hate

No matter how you speak it.

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Hi  guys! Complements of the season and Eid Mubarak to those that have celebrated eid. I have this problem of not posting till after a long time, but I promise to be more disciplined where that is concerned. So today I am posting on the topic forgiveness as typed above.

We all have this person or set of people that we hate so much because they have done wrong by us, and that might have hurt us much that we don’t want to forgive them for it, or maybe even want to avenge what has been done to us. So here is where the problem lies; when you hate someone, you don’t just hate that person but you are creating a void, a space for darkness in your soul. Hatred affects you in a very negative way, beyond what you think. It is like piercing your skin with a pin and expecting someone else to feel the pain. Now the person you hate might not even care and here you are, spoiling your mood and ruining your chances of happiness. Hatred does one no good in any way because it doesn’t give you peace but rather disturbs your peace. Hatred doesn’t have to be between you and others, it could also be within yourself (self loathe). When you hate yourself for something you’ve done, your past mistakes and all, you are going to be ever miserable and be drowned in a world of sorrow.

Now you must be thinking whether there is a way out of this, of course there is! The answer here is love and forgiveness, not revenge. Forgiveness is accepting what has happened, letting it go, moving on and being on the path to your happiness. Revenge on the other hand might seem more satisfying because you are going to settle the score of what was done to you, but trust me it is not. By doing that, you are going to stoop low to the level of the other, and do something out of your boundaries which is still not going to make you happy. The void created is even going to get bigger and you will have this feeling of emptiness inside you. Revenge is so unfulfilling I tell you. The best revenge served is forgiveness. By forgiving, you become the bigger and better person. I must mention that its not all easy, but it is also not beyond you. And you don’t actually have to forget what happened, you just need to not feel the negative effects that the event had on you. You also need to make peace with your situation, shortcomings and the things you hate about yourself.

A wise man once told me that hating something or someone means holding on to them and making them important. If you really hate them, then make them unimportant by forgiving and letting go; then you will be happy.

I don’t want to make this too long, so I’m stopping here. I hope you will have the strength to forgive yourselves and others. You can drop your comments and also subscribe to this website




Hi! So I have been wanting to update lately, but I got caught up with school and all. While I was studying earlier, I thought of this interesting topic (phase) that almost everyone has encountered at a point in this life. We all have dreams and things we want to achieve. Some have been successful in doing that, some are still trying, while others have given up completely (which is very sad). You see, life likes to pull our strings and knock us over most of the time, but getting through it entirely depends on us. We have to be strong enough to get up and keep pushing till we get what we want. Everything isn’t easy I must say. You have to keep certain things in place to get to your destination.

So for you not to give up when life gives you that hard push, you first need to be in love with what you are trying to achieve. The love that you have would be your biggest source of motivation towards your success. Most people fail because they don’t really love what they are pursuing deep down. There can also be resistance from our friends, family and so on. That is a point where you need to believe in yourself and what you want to do because everyone is going to ask you to do this or that, which is totally not you! Never listen to anyone who would tell you that you can’t do it. If anyone does that, look them in the eye and say “watch me do it”. If you’re determined, you can conquer the whole world! Keeping away from all sources of negative energy would be good for you too; be it places, people or things. You also have to be hardworking and as I wrote earlier, determined.

Another important thing is to never be in a rush. Have patience, everything comes about in a slow and steady manner. The implication of being in a rush is; it leads to desperation, and desperation is bad when you’re trying to grow because it will make you take the wrong turns which you might take time in finding your way back or worse, never.

Many people are even finding it difficult to discover what they want to do with their lives (I think I’m going to write something about identifying your dreams pretty soon) the  thing is, the little creative talents you have and ignore  or take them for granted can bloom you up if you pay attention to yourself. You can realise that you enjoy doing them and what next? You go make so name for yourself!

I’ve just got some few points above and I hope you all find some inspiration from this. Never forget that you’re more than capable to achieve what you set out to do, and do not settle for anything less.




Times when I would wish I was as free as a bird. Times when I would wish there were no realities of life

Times when I would wish pain never exited

Times when I would wish my feelings were numbed

I would cry, I would scream, I would hurt, I would writhe in pain

For all my life, my feelings were not considered

For all the traumas I’ve gone through 

For all the agony of not having anything 

For the shame that I feel, for the anger inside my heart

For all the abuses that have been hurled at me.

I kill myself and wish to be reborn

To a hopeful, happy and colorful life

To a content and independent human

To a life without threats, To the death of the tree that terrorizes me

There’s pain, and there’s healing.

I shall live

I shall be happy

I shall achieve my dreams!

This time, with less traumas

Less misery…

Just a happy ending 

A Northern Nigerian Female Child



What I am writing about today is the woes a female child goes through in the Northern part of Nigeria. Most people’s idea about a girl is just her being groomed from her parent’s house, to being another man’s property. Some even think educating a female child is utterly useless because all she is going to do is bare children all her life. I have heard and read this so many times that”educating a female child is like educating a whole community”. So why is there so much discrimination between the boys and girls? The boys are groomed to feel superior for whatever reason, I don’t know.  At times, you even hear them saying “ai mace ce” (she’s just a woman, indicating she is dumb).

Why is it that a girl’s efforts to grow are clipped just before she starts. Are the opposite sex this insecure? Is it because they are afraid of competition? Everyday, a girl gets judged and insulted and fingers are raised at her upbringing. She is just expected to stay at home even if there are other things she wants to do with her life. Girls are made to lose confidence in themselves and have this feeling of inferiority in this society. Any other that has the courage to fly is considered as wayward. Why should girls be groomed to be dependents? They are forcefully made to live at the mercy of their husbands, say the husbands do not provide enough for them, that is how they will sacrifice their needs and can’t even assist their husbands when the days get dark.

Why is it that a female divorcee is considered as someone who has little value and a male divorcee isn’t considered as that? The society isn’t being just to the female generation! We live in a society where girls don’t have a voice, and the ones that do face criticisms and insults on daily basis. This discrimination wouldn’t make the society any better. Girls don’t deserve to be treated as inferior species.  Just some days back, I saw a speech made by a Northern princess as she represented her father at a conference.  She received so much insults, and even her dad bagged his own share of it. Now what was so wrong with a father sending his female child to represent him?

Parents get their children married at a very young age without consideration their children’s feelings or the trauma they will go through especially at child birth. It is sad. The girls that have been given education and weren’t forced into early marriage have also been groomed to settle for nothing less than a rich man. To me, is like the education has gone down the drain since they still don’t have the guts to stand up on their feet.What people forget is that these material things can go. If you get married for them, what will be left then?  And what about the ones that were not being able to hook the rich? They feel less of women and some even get depressed. Now what would be the need for all that if a girl was encouraged to succeed and not become a parasite.

In my own perspective, the orientation given to female children has to change, else we in  the north won’t move further. When a girl is given education and given the necessary support to have a voice, stand up for herself, be confident and have courage to grow without being crucified by the society, arewa (Northern Nigeria) will see a new dawn.


Photo 14-02-2017, 4 43 53 AM

As every individual has a sense of what is right and what is wrong, people now have become something else. No one would stand and fight for what they think, everyone is just programmed to agree with what the society accepts even if it’s wrong. People have been groomed to forget themselves and their sense of righteousness and just live for the society. If you don’t live for yourself then you’re half dead because even your opinions are not yours. Nothing of yours is even actually yours. You’re just like some property or more like a slave of the society who can do nothing but accept what it dictates.

Most people don’t live for themselves. They are just like robots whose aim is to impress people. The funny thing about the situation is that the  people you are seeking approval from will only be there for you on conditional basis. Who do you think amongst them is going to get your back when the days get bad? NO ONE! The exact people you are trying to impress are the same people that will slander you behind your back.

You don’t need to live for anyone! When things do not go with your principles, do not conform. Never leave your true self in the shackles . You don’t even have to fit in. So what if you are different? It actually makes you unique. Stand up for your dreams and your values no matter the volume of resistance you get. Do not forget yourself and live for others. To me, the saying ” when in Rome, do as Romans do”  doesn’t make sense because one doesn’t have to live by what everyone accepts. Being overcareful so that people wouldn’t disapprove of you is not the life. Especially for girls where they’re at times being compelled to live a life entirely different from the one they have always wanted. Your opinions are yours and you have a right to want what you aspire. Trust me, you will never be happy when you suppress them. The void is forever going to remain because you are in chains.

Explore your life and not live through it seeking for people’s approval. This goes for everyone, old to young and boys to girls

Make yourself happy by revealing the true you. You will be amazed of your potentials.!

Written by Millionaire’s Digest Team Member: Rose Yap Founder & Owner of: Wandering Daydreamer Millionaire’s Digest Team, Contributor, Successful Living and Travel Writer 1. “Everything in life is easier when you don’t concern yourself with what everybody else is doing.” There’s this saying that also says, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ and I feel like […]

via 7 Quotes for When You Find Yourself Comparing Yourself to Others (2 min read) — Millionaire’s Digest